Protection of the Cosmos
by EvilDrDoof
Summary: Everything changes one day when a machine falls from the sky. To protect their home and their world, Phineas, Ferb, and everyone else must do everything in their power to stop the invasion. With adventure, comedy, action, and a little bit of P&I romance, this certainly isn't the boys' typical backyard adventure!
1. A Slight Deviation

**Disclaimer and Author_s _Note_: _**

First, I most certainly don't own Phineas & Ferb. That would be ridiculous.

Second, my plan for this story is for it to be 26 episodes, updated weekly. I'll apologize in advance if the whole weekly thing does not happen. I'll do my best, but other obligations may get in the way.

Third, I'm all about throwing in references to the things I like. There's a huge one in this chapter, so good on you if you can spot them and tell me what the "real" source is. This sort of thing is going to happen fairly often, with ideas, quotes, and physical objects. Towards the end of the story I'm "borrowing" part of a scene from a TV show I like, so if you spot that then call me on it. It'll impress me!

Fourth, yes there will be some romance between Phineas and Isabella. It's going to start showing up towards the middle of the story. It's not the main focus of the story, but it's certainly an important plot point. This is mostly a "Don't flame me if you don't support that couple" kind of disclaimer, but it's also a "this isn't necessarily a romantic story; it's just one of the side plots" sort of disclaimer.

Fifth, just try and have fun! I made an account here just so I could write this story that's been nagging at my brain for awhile. I hope you can enjoy it as much as I do.

Here we go!

* * *

_The day started out pretty normal, actually. Too bad things got out of hand in a hurry once the first machine landed. Then again, around here the most normal of days can get pretty crazy._

* * *

Episode 1: _A Slight Deviation_

* * *

It was a typical morning in the Flynn-Fletcher household. Phineas was staring off into space, endless possibilities in mind for the day's project. He absentmindedly scratched Perry's back, then turned to his brother. "Hey Ferb, do you think we should build the hanging gardens or the colossus today?"

Ferb looked around the tree and shrugged.

"Yeah, that's how I feel too. At first I was thinking colossus just because it's so big, but the hanging garden would make the yard look nice. I mean, we've been sitting out here all summer. A little change of scenery would be kind of nice." Ferb nodded his agreement.

"You're right!" Phineas stood and stretched. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!" He looked at his watch. "Do you think the greenhouse on North Star Street is open yet?" Ferb shook his head in response. "Oh that's right. They open at 11:00 on weekdays. Well, what do you want to do until they open?"

Their thoughts were interrupted when the gate to the backyard flew open. Baljeet bounded into the yard carrying a fairly large box. "Hello my friends! Look at what I finally got!"

"Hey Baljeet!" Phineas replied. "Where's Buford?

"He has a bullying workshop downtown," Baljeet explained. "This week is apparently proper noogie techniques." He frowned. "I am not looking forward to that."

"That explains it. Well, what'cha got there?"

Baljeet's expression brightened considerably. "Only the coolest, most exciting strategy board game ever!"

"Oh?" Phineas leaned in and looked at the box. "Umbra? Isn't that like the darkest part of an eclipse? How do you make a board game out of an eclipse?"

"It is just a cool sounding name for the greatest game of our time."

Phineas led Baljeet to the tree. "Well, you're certainly building up a lot of hype. Ferb, wanna give it a try while we wait for the greenhouse to open?" Ferb gave a thumbs up and stood. "Alright! Let's grab the table out of the garage. Baljeet, could you give us a hand?"

"It would be my pleasure!" Baljeet continued his cheerful bounding as the trio opened the garage.

"You must be really crazy about this game," Phineas said. He pulled the round deck table away from the wall and started rolling it towards the door. "Ferb, can you and Baljeet grab those folding chairs?"

"I cannot begin to describe how excited I am," Baljeet replied. He moved to grab a pair of folding chairs but quickly found he could only carry one. Luckily Ferb was able to pick up his slack and carry two himself. "I have been saving up all summer for this game. Hours, days, WEEKS of chores! I would have done them anyway, of course, but having a goal like this is excellent motivation!"

"Well, I hope Ferb and I can give you a good game." The trio returned to the back yard, and Phineas pulled the folding legs out of the bottom of the table. Baljeet and Ferb unfolded their chairs, and Baljeet quickly lifted the box and placed it in the center of the table.

"The object of this game is to conquer the most planets in the galaxy." He started pulling out hexagonal tiles and laying them out on the table. "These are the solar systems. As you explore the galaxy you add these tiles in the direction you move." He flipped one over to show the planets on its face. "And when you conquer a solar system, you put your markers on here."

"Seems easy enough," Phineas said. "How do you explore and conquer and stuff?"

"By building spaceships!" Baljeet dramatically dumped a pile of plastic spaceships in various colors onto the middle of the table. "And you can upgrade your spaceships by spending your money on new technology."

"Oh. Okay." Phineas shifted anxiously in his seat. "And how do you get money?"

"You get income for all the planets you own."

Phineas nodded. "Oh, I see. So you need to build a bigger empire to get more money. That makes sense." He reached into the box and pulled out the instruction booklet. "Wow. Baljeet, this instruction book is 45 pages."

"I know. Is it not the most glorious manual you've ever seen?"

"Actually-"

"Hi everybody! Hey Phineas! What'cha doin'?" Everyone turned to see Isabella walk into the yard. She had her hands folded in front of her as she approached the red-haired boy.

"Oh hi Isabella," Phineas replied, turning in his seat. "Baljeet was just showing us his new board game."

Isabella stopped and leaned on the back of Phineas's chair. "Oh? Looks complicated."

"It is." He handed her the instruction book and her face fell.

"Is this…?"

"45 pages? Yes. Yes it is."

"Would you like to play too, Isabella?" Baljeet asked. He continued to set up the pieces to the game without much thought to the trepidation of the others.

"Uh, well…"

"You might as well join us," Phineas said with a smile. "We won't have anything to do until about 11:00 anyway. Here, let me grab another chair out of the garage." He stood up and looked around. "Hey. Where's Perry?"

* * *

Perry was sneaking around the opposite side of the house. Once he was sure he was out of sight, he stood upright and placed a brown fedora on his head. After another quick glance over his shoulder, he slid around to the fence and pulled the knot out of one of the boards. He stuck his paw into the hole, pressed a secret button, then stuffed the knot back into the board.

The ground beneath him dropped out, and he slid down into his secret lair. He landed comfortably in his chair and looked up at the screen to see Major Monogram ready and waiting for him.

"Ah, there you are Agent P," the major began. "It looks like Doofenshmirtz is at it again. He's been buying up all the cell phone chargers across the Tri-State Area. We're not entirely sure what he's up to, but I do know that my battery's in the red and I don't have a charger."

"You can use mine, sir!" Carl shouted from somewhere off camera.

"For the last time, Carl! I have micro-USB and your charger is mini-USB!" Major Monogram scoffed. "See, this is exactly why we don't pay you."

"Sorry sir."

Major Monogram turned back to Perry. "Get moving, Agent P! I only have about an hour of charge left!" Perry saluted and jumped out of his chair. "Remember micro-USB, Agent P!" Monogram called after him as the platypus jumped into his hover car. "I hope he heard me."

"Sir, do you just want to use my cell phone?"

"Absolutely not! I'd be the laughingstock of the O.W.C.A. if they heard your ringtone while I was conducting top secret business!"

"It's not that bad…" Carl muttered.

"It is," the major replied definitively. "Now hand it over."

"But you just said-"

"I'll just put it on vibrate." Major Monogram crossed his arms and looked up. "Please hurry, Agent P. This is our darkest hour…"

* * *

Baljeet had finished explaining the rules, paraphrasing them better than the group had expected. They now had a reasonable understanding of how the game worked and were ready to play. Everyone chose a color to play and placed their ships and markers on their starting solar systems.

"Now remember, you want to take over more of the galaxy than your opponents," Baljeet reminded them.

"Doesn't sound too difficult," Isabella said, a hint of trepidation in her voice.

Phineas smiled at her. "Don't worry, Isabella! We're all new to this, so we'll figure it out together." He looked to Baljeet. "Ready to start?"

"Ready!"

* * *

Candace was staring out of her window at the four kids. "What are they up to? That looks way too normal for Phineas and Ferb." She took out her cell phone and dialed Stacy's number.

"Hello? Stacy? I need your advice."

"Let's see," Stacy replied. "Is this about Jeremy, or is this about your brothers?" The sound of paper rustling came over the phone. "According to my calendar, yesterday was Jeremy, so I'm guessing it's a brother day today?"

"You are NOT funny."

"So what are the little geniuses inventing today?"

"That's just it," Candace said with a sigh. "They're out there with Isabella and Baljeet and it all looks so normal. Like they're playing some kind of board game or something."

"Have you considered that maybe they're just playing some kind of game?"

"Yeah, a MIND game. On me. To make me crazy. IN MY MIND"

Stacy sighed. "I don't think you need much help."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Anyway, until you hear the sound of power tools and carpentry, why don't you relax and do something you enjoy?"

"Because they're out there," Candace replied. "They're mocking me with their little cardboard hexagons and their plastic spaceships. They're up to something, I tells ya!"

"Well, I'm going to the mall. If you want to meet me there later after you finish your stakeout, let me know."

"Alright, alright." She paused and frowned. "Let me just go see if I can pry their evil plan out of them."

"If it's relatively harmless, call me and I'll meet you by the fountain."

"Okay, okay. I'll call you soon."

"Good. Talk to you later." The call ended, and Candace looked out the window again.

"Still no sign of giant spaceships or miniature planetoids moving around the back yard. What could they be waiting for?"

* * *

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

Perry the Platypus dove through the window and immediately landed in a pile of tangled cell phone chargers. The more he struggled, the further he sank into the mess, eventually becoming so tied up that he was effectively trapped.

"Oh, there you are Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz said from across the room. "Come in! Make yourself comfortable. I'll be with you in just a minute." The evil scientist was busy tightening a bolt with a comically large wrench. "You're actually a little later than I expected. You get tied up in traffic?"

The platypus rolled his eyes.

"Oh, right, you have that little duck-billed hovercar thing. So, how is Francis and that college kid? Doing alright?"

Perry chattered, urging Doofenshmirtz to get to the point.

"Okay, okay, jeez. I thought a little polite small talk would ease the mood but I guess we can't have that, can we Perry the Platypus?" He stepped around the far side of the machine, which was mostly concealed beneath a tarp. "Alright, cutting to the chase time."

Doofenshmirtz yanked the tarp free of the machine, revealing a giant 1980's style cell phone. A mass of wires came out the back, each of them ending in a cell phone charger plugged into a massive power strip. "Behold! My Dead Zone-inator!" He waited for Perry's reaction, but the platypus only stared at him. He continued undaunted, "You see, Perry the Platypus, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm out and about on the town and I'm waiting in line and someone in front of me is on their cell phone. Don't you just hate that?"

The platypus replied with a shrug.

"Good point. You don't have a cell phone. Or vocal chords. Anyway, trust me, it's really annoying. So now, with my Dead Zone-inator, I can shut off cell phone service throughout the Tri-State Area at my evil whim!

"You see, all I have to do is press the button on this remote whenever someone in line in front of me gets a call, and his call will instantly drop... along with everyone else's calls throughout Jefferson County, but it's a small price to pay."

Perry chattered and gave an unimpressed look.

"Unfortunately it takes up a lot of power since I'm basically knocking out service for the entire city, so I had to buy and steal a bunch of cell phone chargers. It's also a bit of a fire hazard, so don't tell the city inspector." Doofenshmirtz laughed nervously. "Then again, I guess it's not like this is any worse than my Implode-inator. That was… well let's just say it did what the name implied."

Perry cracked a smile but did his best to hide it.

"Anyway, it's time for the test run of my Dead Zone-inator!" Doofenshmirtz held up the remote control dramatically, then pressed the button.

A shower of sparks poured out of the machine, and the lights flickered briefly as it powered up. "Okay, so far so good. Let me see…" Doofenshmirtz took out his own cell phone and looked at the screen. He grinned and held it in front of Perry's face. "See that, Perry the Platypus? Zero bars! It's working!"

* * *

Ferb was doing quite well. Isabella had rushed into his territory thinking he was unprepared, but Ferb expertly outmaneuvered her. As she pushed forward, he cut off her flank and left much of her fleet stranded in Ferb's territory.

"Wow, nice move Ferb," Phineas said with a smile. "Looks like you might have a shot at winning." Ferb nodded at his brother. "Except of course that by flanking Isabella you left yourself open to my fleet. Guess you should have thought that through a little more."

Looking Phineas straight in the eye, he pointed down towards the table. Ferb had built the largest, most powerful space battleship in the game, and it was currently sitting only a few solar systems away from Phineas's territory.

"I don't know. I've been known to do crazier things." Phineas smiled and looked at Isabella. "And I'm sure you wouldn't mind backing me up with the remainder of your fleet, seeing as how we have a common enemy."

Isabella grinned. "With pleasure. You're going down, Ferb."

The sliding doors flew open, and Candace stampeded out. "What are you losers doing?" she demanded.

"Oh hey Candace," Phineas replied. "We're just playing Baljeet's new game. It's about space!"

"I gathered that from the cheap plastic spaceships," his sister replied. "So what's next? Are you going to BUILD a spaceship and fight a real war in space?"

"No, we were thinking of recreating the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, but it seems like the game might take awhile. We might have to put that off until tomorrow."

Candace crossed her arms and stared at him for a moment. "So if I was to, hypothetically, tell Stacy I could go to the mall with her, I'd be free to do so?"

Phineas smiled at his sister. "Aw, Candace! It's nice of you to offer, but you don't have to stick around to keep us company. Go have fun with your friends! We won't be lonely with Isabella and Baljeet here. Besides, mom's in the house baking a pie."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Oh? What did you mean?" Phineas asked, tilting his head.

"Oh, never mind!" She took out her phone. "I'm gonna call Stacy." After a few seconds, she held her phone up a little higher. "Huh. I'm not getting a signal."

A loud rumble filled the air, diverting everyone's attention from Candace. Everyone looked up to see a large object streaking across the sky. It was headed towards downtown, and it disappeared behind the neighbor's house almost as quickly as it had appeared.

Candace narrowed her eyes at her brothers. "Phineas! Ferb! What was that?"

Phineas shrugged. "Beats me. But it was cool, wasn't it?"

"No! No it was not! I'm telling mom!" She turned to walk back into the house, but Isabella tapped her on the arm.

"Candace, tell her what?"

"I… you…" She glared at Isabella, then her brothers. Baljeet tensed, waiting for his turn, but she never got around to him. "I've got my eye on you!"

"I thought you were going to the mall," Phineas said.

"Not until I find out what you're up to!" She ran to the garage and returned a few seconds later with a folding chair. With a loud thwack she unfolded it and sat it alongside the table, straddling it and leaning forward. "By all means. Continue."

* * *

Doofenshmirtz was staring excitedly his machine, and Perry saw an opportunity. He quickly grabbed a fistful of the spare chargers that had trapped him and yanked them loose from the pile. Pulling fiercely at his arm, he worked his arm free and used the chargers he had grabbed as a whip, tying Doofenshmirtz's arms together at the wrists.

"Hey, no fair! I was busy being awestruck!" Doofenshmirtz stumbled backwards, pulling at his wrists to try and separate them. In the process he dropped the remote to the floor and kicked it to the far side of the room. "Look what you made me do!"

In a flash Perry had freed the rest of his body and was running for the remote. Doofenshmirtz saw what he was doing and gave chase to the small mammal, but Perry was ready. He still held a few of the cell phone chargers and quickly whipped them around, catching the mad scientist's legs and tying them together.

Doofenshmirtz landed with a thud, all four of his limbs incapacitated. "Jeez, you made that look easy. It took me two hours to untangle three of those things and you did it in under a minute." He looked at his wrists and exclaimed, "Oh hey, micro-USB! That's what Vanessa's phone uses! Or was it mini-USB? Now I forget. Hey Perry the Platypus, do you know the difference between-"

Perry stopped running towards the remote and held up a hand to silence Doofenshmirtz. The scientist stopped and listened along with the platypus. There was a rumbling noise just loud enough to be heard over the sparks and electrical hum of the Dead Zone-inator. "That doesn't sound like my Inator. Is that coming from outside?"

A second later, something huge crashed through the side of the building. It sent pieces of metal and plaster everywhere, and Perry and Doofenshmirtz scrambled for cover. The large object slammed right into the Dead Zone-inator, crushing it along with Doofenshmirtz's aspirations. "Aw come on! That took me literally hours to build! Curse you, large unidentifiable machine-like thing!"

While Doofenshmirtz struggled with the wires that bound him, Perry cautiously approached the object. As the evil doctor had stated, it was a machine of some kind. It was shaped like a human, with a head, body, and four limbs, except it was about twenty feet tall. "What is that thing?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "Is someone else in Danville breaking into the giant robot gig?"

Perry was not sure, but he did not want to take any chances. He kept his distance, making sure the robot was not playing possum. Sure enough, after a minute it started to show signs of life, and Perry rushed over to Doofenshmirtz. "Hey, what are you doing?" With a quick yank, the knots binding the scientist fell away, allowing him use of his limbs. "Wow. You are really good at untangling these things," he said before Perry slapped a paw over his mouth.

Doofenshmirtz nodded. "Oh, I get it," he whispered. Perry pointed to a bank of computer consoles and began walking in that direction. Quietly Doofenshmirtz did likewise. They both took up a position behind the consoles that would allow them to observe the robot without being easily seen.

The machine started moving its limbs and rose to a sitting position. It pivoted its head, taking in its surroundings. Perry and Doofenshmirtz sunk deeper into the recess behind the consoles. After its brief survey, it started to speak. "Electromagnetic interference responsible for malfunction. No further damage to internals. Interference no longer present."

"Perry the Platypus, do you think he's talking about my Dead Zone-inator?"

"Life forms detected," the robot stated flatly. "Awaiting further orders."

Perry slapped a paw to his forehead. "Oh, so this is my fault now?" Doofenshmirtz said loudly. The robot began approaching. "I guess I could see how you might think that, actually." He took a step out from behind the console and stretched his arms wide. "I hope you come in peace, seeing as how you wrecked my wall there."

"Orders retrieved. Organic life forms must be subjugated."

Doofenshmirtz stopped and raised a finger. "Hey! If anyone's going to be doing any subjugating around here it's gonna be me." Perry chattered from somewhere behind, and the evil scientist looked back over his shoulder. "No, Perry the Platypus. This robot thinks he can muscle in on my evil territory."

A laser beam whizzed past Doofenshmirtz's face, and he turned back towards the robot. A cannon protruded from its right hand. "Norm!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, then dove for cover.

Norm the robot burst into the room through the door, knocking it off its hinges in the process. "What is it, sir?"

"We have an uninvited guest," Doofenshmirtz shouted from behind a box of unassembled scrap parts.

"Why hello there!" Norm said cheerfully. "I do apologize, but you are not welcome on these premises. Please remove yourself before I am forced to take physical action."

The intruding robot stopped and turned its head towards Norm. "Mechanical life form interfering with mission. New orders requested."

"I do not think you heard me," Norm said, moving towards the machine. "Please leave, and do try to have a nice day."

The other machine started walking towards Norm, towering over him by over five feet. "Orders received. Hostile machine elements must be purged." Each of the robots drew closer to each other, preparing for combat.

* * *

Next time:

Norm and the intruding robot face off, with the resulting battle spreading across downtown Danville. As the battle subsides, Perry finds himself in an unexpected situation that may not have an easy solution.

The next episode of Protection of the Cosmos: _Something That Changes Everything_


	2. Something That Changes Everything

_Things are getting strange around here, and for once Phineas and Ferb aren't involved. None of us are sure what's going on here yet, but it makes me a little nervous. At least those two are controlled chaos._

* * *

Episode 2: _Something That Changes Everything_

* * *

Norm pulled back his right arm and let fly with a punch to the intruding robot's midsection. For his size, Norm was incredibly strong. The other robot reeled backwards, tripped over one of Doofenshmirtz's incomplete Inators, then crashed to the floor on its backside.

"Now tear its head off, Norm!" Doofenshmirtz shouted from behind his box.

"Whatever you say, sir!" Norm walked forward at a leisurely pace. As it neared the larger robot, he reached for its head. "This won't hurt a bit since, like me, you lack a central nervous system."

Before Norm could get a good grip on the other robot's head, the other robot swatted Norm aside. He hit the wall, leaving a sizable dent. "That wasn't very nice!' Norm stated. "Mr. Robot, you-"

The other robot began firing beams from its hand cannon again, causing Norm to stop talking and take cover alongside Doofenshmirtz. "What are you doing, you bucket of bolts? Go out there and stop him!"

"But sir! You never gave me a laser gun!"

"That's because you'd probably just blow your own foot off!" Doofenshmirtz let out a disgusted grunt. "Good help is so hard to find these days, even when you build it in your own evil laboratory." He gave Norm a shove, causing him to stumble back out into the open.

"Hostile elements will be destroyed." The other robot took another step forward and opened fire. Norm dodged to the right, and the blast hit the box that Doofenshmirtz had been hiding behind. The box exploded and he stumbled away and into the wall. While the large machine was tracking Doofenshmirtz's movements, Norm grabbed the robot's arm and gave it a quick flip.

"It's rude to show up to someone's house uninvited," Norm said. The other robot landed hard on the floor near the wall that it had broken down. Upon impact, the floor around it began to crack. The robot tried to stand up again, but the floor gave way, dropping him from the building's odd architectural extension to the street below.

"Wow. Jeez. Glad that's over with," Doofenshmirtz said, wiping his head with his sleeve. "You okay Perry the Platypus?"

Perry jumped out from behind the computer console and chattered.

"I'm okay too!" Norm said cheerfully.

"Well isn't that great?" the evil scientist replied in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Agent P sprinted to the hole in the floor and cautiously peered over the edge. Down below, the robot was rising again. He couldn't hear what it was saying, but it began to take potshots at random passersby. Perry turned to Doofenshmirtz and chattered.

"Oh no, don't even think about getting me involved," the scientist replied, waving his hands emphatically in front of him. "He's somebody else's problem now. Besides, do you know how much my repair bill is going to be? He caused more damage than you do! And look at this. It's not drywall, it's plaster—so much more expensive."

Perry chattered, then crossed his arms.

"No, if I start unleashing my wrath on that thing he's just going to unleash his wrath right back, and Charlene's alimony checks only come once a month."

Norm walked up behind Doofenshmirtz. "But if that other robot destroys the Tri-State Area, how are you going to take it over?"

Doofenshmirtz froze and began grinding his teeth. Then he let out a scream. "I hate you when you make sense, Norm." He turned to his nemesis and said, "Perry the Platypus, do you think you could keep that robot busy while I scrounge up something to blast it? I'm sure I have an old Inator lying around somewhere, but the place is a bit of a mess right now because of… well, you know."

Perry gave a thumbs up and jumped out of the hole. A second later, a parachute with the platypus's face opened from his backpack and he drifted lazily to the street.

"Okay, your turn," Doofenshmirtz said, pointing at Norm.

"But I don't have a parachute, sir."

With a grunt, Doofenshmirtz threw the tarp that had previously been covering the Dead Zone-inator. Norm caught it and almost became tangled. "There. Happy?" He gave Norm a shove, and the robot stumbled out of the huge hole in the floor. "Ugh, surrounded by idiots. Good thing I'm a genius. Now let's see what I can do…"

* * *

The kids' game of Umbra had reached a critical point. With Baljeet all but eliminated, Phineas and Isabella stood as the only players capable of stopping Ferb's conquest of the galaxy. While the duo flanked each side of the young Brit, Ferb maneuvered his strongest battleships into position along the perimeter of his empire. Even if he were to be attacked, the other two would have to crack his outer shell, a feat that was starting to look impossible.

Candace, who had still not left, was actually taking an interest in the game. "I hate to admit it, but this geekfest is actually pretty interesting," she had said earlier. Maybe it was just because the kids were taking it so seriously, but it was hard to stop watching their strategies unfold.

Ferb watched closely as Isabella took her turn. Neither she nor Phineas moved any of their ships as of yet. "Whichever one of us makes the first move will probably lose," Ferb had wisely pointed out. The red-haired boy made no indication as to whether he agreed or not.

Isabella built as many ships as she could afford, then turned to Phineas. "Ready?"

Phineas nodded. "As we'll ever be."

"Good." Isabella started sliding her ships from one hexagon to the next. "I move from Vega to Antares. Ferb, defend!"

Ferb looked back and forth between Isabella, who was wearing a self-assured grin, and her fleet, which was only just comparable in size to his own. Not betraying any emotion on his face, he picked up a number of dice and began shaking them in his hand.

The sliding doors flew open, and Linda rushed out into the yard. "Everyone? I need you all to come inside right away."

Candace flipped her head backwards over the chair and looked at her mother upside down. "Aw come on, mom! The final battle is starting!"

"That's not important right now." Candace noticed that her mother looked ashen, and she sat up and turned around in her seat. The kids were also getting a bit anxious.

"What is it, mom?" Candace asked.

"Something's going on downtown." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Some kind of attack or something. I don't really know, but I want you all to come inside where it's safe."

Candace stood up and leaned in close to her mother, whispering, "Mom, what about dad?"

"He's at the antiques shop," Linda whispered back. "I need to go get him."

"You can't!" the teen shouted.

The rest of the kids had been shoveling pieces of the game into the box but stopped when Candace shouted. "Mom, you're going to try and rescue dad, aren't you?" Phineas asked quietly.

Linda took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes I am."

"And you weren't even going to tell us?"

"I was going to tell Candace, and she was going to stay here and keep an eye on you. I didn't want to worry you kids." Linda started walking towards the garage. "Whatever's going on downtown, it doesn't look like it's going to spread to the suburbs, but I still want you all in the house. That goes for you too, Isabella and Baljeet You're welcome to stay as long as you want. Candace, you're in charge."

Candace tried to protest. "But mom, you can't-"

"I have to." Linda stopped at the garage door. "I drove him to work today, so your father is stuck there with no way of getting home."

Phineas, Ferb, and Candace ran to Linda. "Mom, be careful," Phineas said. Each of them gave their mother a hug, and Linda smiled.

"I will be. I promise. And I'll bring your father home." She paused and looked at her family. "I love you all."

"We love you too, mother," Ferb replied. Linda slowly let go of her children and turned to the garage again. A few seconds later, the car backed down the driveway, turned, then sped off towards downtown.

Phineas looked up at Candace. "Do you think she's going to be okay?"

Candace looked at him with a faraway expression. She snapped out of it abruptly and waved her hand. "Pppht, yeah! Are you kidding?" The look on Phineas's face showed her that he wasn't. "Uh, let's go inside and check the news," she said hastily. "Maybe they have more information about what's going on."

Ferb led the way into the house, with his brother right behind. Candace waited until Baljeet and Isabella filed in, then entered and closed the door behind. Phineas had already turned on the television, which was currently broadcasting up to the minute reports on the situation.

"The scene downtown has escalated exponentially," the anchor reported. "I'm standing near city hall, where two robots have been duking it out for the last half hour." He gestured behind him to the pair of machines, the taller of which was unleashing a hail of laser fire. "The collateral damage from this fight has reached almost cartoonish proportions, with estimates in the quote-unquote "kajillions" of dollars according to City Hall."

Phineas suddenly leaned forward. "Hey! I've seen that robot before!"

"If you tell me you had anything to do with this…" Candace began.

"No, no, nothing like that." He approached the television, trying to get a better look. "Do either of you recognize that smaller one? Candace? Ferb?"

Candace leaned forward, then frowned and pointed at the television. "Hey, yeah! That's that robot that stole that video I stol- borrowed from the traffic camera outside!" She cleared her throat. "What's he doing there, anyway?"

The anchor shouted as one of the larger robot's beams hit very close to his location. "I think we're going to have to move towards the mall. Phil, here, get behind the cars. Guys, if you have to drop the equipment do it. Safety takes precedence." He started waving his hands, trying to get his crew behind some cover.

"It's getting bad out there," Candace sighed. "What IS that thing?"

The shorter robot was knocked to the side, asking, "Whatever happened to the Marquis of Queensbury Rules?" as it hit the pavement. Before it could get up again, the larger robot stepped on its torso and aimed its beam gun at him. "Hey, watch where you point that thing. Someone might get hurt."

"Termination of inorganic life form commencing," the larger robot announced. Before it actually fired, something fell from above and landed on its arm, deflecting it just enough to barely miss hitting the smaller robot with its laser.

The anchor became excited. "Someone new has arrived on the scene," he announced. "Zoom in on the arm there. Let's see what it is." The camera focused on the larger robot's arm. "It appears to be a… platypus wearing a fedora! Huh. Didn't expect that. Although to be fair I didn't expect giant robots, so there you have it!"

Phineas squinted, then jumped from the couch. "That can't be!"

"What is it, Phineas?" Isabella asked.

Phineas looked frantic. "Quick! Everyone help me look for Perry! Tear the house apart!"

Candace grabbed hold of Phineas's shirt as he ran for the stairs. "Hold on a minute, bucko! That could be any platypus."

Baljeet added, "Do you realize how many platypuses are in the Tri-State Area? It is an astoundingly high number."

"I know, I know, but… I just have this feeling, okay? Like I already know the answer to this question." Phineas trailed off and looked away from the group. "Every day Perry disappears and none of us has ever seen where he goes. I know we always say he doesn't do much, but what if…" he stopped and looked at Candace. She had an eyebrow raised.

"So you think he goes off in his little hat and fights giant robots?" she asked, stifling a laugh at the end.

"It doesn't have to be giant robots every day," he replied. "Maybe he fights crime, or stops an evil scientist, or he's some kind of undercover body guard that only puts on his fedora when he's saving a life. It'd be the perfect disguise!"

Candace rolled her eyes. "And then he comes back here and makes a mess in his litter box?"

"We'll never know for sure if we don't look for him right now."

There was silence for a moment, and the anchor on TV continued to narrate the fight. "It looks like the platypus has helped to turn this fight around! Look at the skilled way he uses that grappling hook! I've never seen a robot get his legs untangled from a mess like that!"

The larger robot fell forward, slamming into the ground as the platypus did a somersault off its back. As he landed, the robot rolled its head to follow, saying, "Sentient creature possibly masquerading as non-intelligent life form. Request emergency orders to terminate."

A man in a lab coat ran out of one of the nearby buildings. He approached the platypus, and the camera crew eased forward, trying to capture what he said. "Alright, I managed to throw something together, but it's not my best work. Don't say I didn't warn you." He turned and looked at the smaller robot. "Norm! Why are you just lying there?"

"Sorry sir!" the smaller robot, now identified as 'Norm' on the broadcast, replied. "Perry was the one who saved me."

"What? Perry the Platypus, is this true?" the man in the lab coat asked. Whatever was said next was drowned out by Phineas.

"It IS Perry!" he shouted. "It's our Perry!"

Candace let go of Phineas and stared at the television in shock. "But… but…" Ferb approached and put a hand on her shoulder.

Isabella stood up. "We should help him!"

Phineas smiled. "Yeah! We can beat that bucket of bolts no problem!"

"Oh no you don't!" Candace shouted. "Mom told us to wait right here and stay safe, and that's exactly what we're going to do!" She crossed her arms for effect.

"But Candace, if we were to assist Perry, we would indirectly be assisting your mother as well," Baljeet pointed out. "After all, if the robot downtown is destroyed, neither she nor your father would be in any danger."

"He's got a point, Candace," Isabella added.

"No way. Too dangerous." Candace turned her head as if the action made her points definitive. "Besides, that pharmacist on TV sounds like he has a plan." She turned back towards the television, where Perry was shown carrying something that looked a bit like a cattle prod. "What's he got there?"

The news anchor asked the same question to the man in the lab coat. "Oh, that's just my Oxidizer-inator. I drew up plans and got the parts for it awhile ago and kept threatening to use it on my robot Norm over there." He shoved a thumb in the direction of his robot companion. "I never actually got around to putting it together until today, though. I kept saying I would to shut Norm up, but you know how these things fall through the cracks when you're busy plotting your takeover of the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA!"

The anchor hesitated momentarily before deciding to ask the next question. "What… what does it do, exactly?"

"It rusts metal. I mean come on! It's right in the title!"

"Er, I guess…" The reporter turned back towards the camera. "Let's watch as the platypus attempts to implement the Rust-inator-"

"Oxidizer-inator!"

"-on the giant metal machine!"

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. "Jeez, is this really the standard you people are setting? You're singlehandedly destroying the integrity of the journalistic institution. No wonder they call you the lame-stream media."

The camera panned back to the two robots. While the larger one had been struggling with the grappling hook around its legs, Norm had risen and pinned the other robot to the ground. It now held the larger machine's arm laser gun arm firmly in place, preventing it from taking aim at the oncoming platypus.

Perry hopped onto the larger robot's head and scurried down its back. After a brief moment deliberating, he jabbed the Oxidizer-inator into the robot's neck. The metal immediately began to rust, and the patch of deterioration spread quickly across the surface, then down its back.

The machine squirmed under Norm's weight. "System failure. Error. Error."

"You're my hero, Perry!" Norm affirmed over the continued announcements of the other robot.

Eventually the other robot's head tumbled from its body. It shut down as it hit the ground, and the rest of the body went limp. Doofenshmirtz started running towards the scene. "It worked! I can't believe it!"

"Sir, isn't that that Oxidizer-inator you always threatened to use on me?" Norm asked.

"Yeah! Isn't it great? And now that it's built, my threats aren't nearly as empty!"

A new voice cut into the broadcast. "Carl, we need to get these cameras out of here." The camera panned away from the robots and towards two men approaching from the left. One of them was wearing a green military-style uniform and the other was wearing glasses and a white shirt. "Sorry, but we need you to cease your transmission at once," the man in the uniform announced.

"You can't do that!" the anchor replied.

"Oh can't I?" He looked over at the younger man in the glasses. "Carl?"

"Yes sir!" Carl replied. He pulled out a large water gun from somewhere behind his back. After pumping it a few times, he let loose a high pressured spray at the camera, causing the transmission to cease abruptly.

Everyone stared at the television as it cut back to the studio. The crew struggled to explain what had just happened. "Wow," Isabella began. "That was…"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'innovative,'" Ferb finished for her.

"I'm not sure that's what I was going for, but you're right too."

Phineas sat back down on the couch. "I can't believe what Perry did. I thought we knew everything there was to know about him." He looked at Ferb, who just shrugged. "But… I don't know. For some reason I'm not as surprised as I would have thought."

"That makes one of us," Candace muttered, rolling her eyes. "Although for a platypus he rocks that fedora."

"It does suit him well," Baljeet noted.

"And he beat that robot!" Phineas shouted. "He saved us all, and mom and dad will be fine!" He threw a fist into the air. "Three cheers for Perry!"

* * *

Perry sighed as he slipped home. It was later than he was accustomed to returning, and the day had been a lot more difficult than he expected. Still, at the end of the day it was all worthwhile when he came back to his loving family.

Major Monogram had handled the cleanup. He was eager to get the robot's head back to the OWCA headquarters for analysis. Perry didn't care that much, though. That would be Carl's job, and even though the young man would be working hours of unpaid overtime, Perry was certain that the nerdy boy would be in his element deconstructing the object.

Right now all the platypus could think about was curling up in Phineas or Ferb's lap and dozing off. The very last thing on his mind was what actually happened when he puttered into the kitchen.

"SURPRISE!"

Perry jumped and focused on Phineas and Ferb. At first he thought maybe he forgot some sort of important date or anniversary, possibly even his birthday. However, the banner above the counter said "Thank you, Perry!" and someone had drawn a picture of him wearing a fedora and looking very stern. He gulped and froze in place.

"Perry, it's okay!" Phineas said. He smiled and walked over to the platypus. "We understand why you couldn't tell us you were a hero." The young boy picked up his pet and brought him to the table. "Thanks to you, mom and dad are home and upstairs safe and sound. They don't know it was you that stopped the robot, though."

The platypus looked around. Baljeet and Buford were there, as was Isabella. Even Candace was sitting and smiling. There was a small cake in the center of the table with a picture of Perry on it, this one also wearing a fedora. Perry felt overwhelmed, and he looked at the floor.

"Don't worry, we get it," Candace said. Perry perked up slightly, not really expecting the older girl to say anything. "Obviously we'd be in danger if we knew your secret identity. You were just trying to protect us."

Perry looked around, feeling things were getting a little weird. Although he had to admit that it was better than the last time his cover was blown. He looked at each of his friends' faces one at a time, searching for some sort of clue.

Buford frowned at the platypus. "They saw you on TV, dummy," he said. "Plus, I was downtown today. Nice parachute, by the way."

Perry smiled nervously and looked to the side.

Phineas sat Perry down at the table. "You don't have to worry about us saying anything to anyone. We won't even say anything to mom and dad." He leaned in and added, "But if you need any super-cool gadgets, you just let us know and we'll slip you whatever you need."

The platypus smiled and shook his head.

"You don't want our help?" the young boy asked. He sounded a little hurt. Perry stood on the chair and put a hand on Phineas's shoulder and the boy smiled. "I understand. You need to keep your lives separate, huh buddy?" The platypus nodded. "That's okay. Just make sure you don't forget you have a family to come home to." He scratched Perry's head, and both smiled.

"Are we ever gonna eat this cake?" Buford asked. Everyone glared at him. "What?"

Phineas grinned. "Yeah! Let's dig in, everybody!"

* * *

Next Time:

Carl completes his analysis of the robot's head, and Major Monogram feels that in light of the news he needs to bring in some outside help. Meanwhile, Perry already finds himself torn between his career and his family's safety.

The next episode of Protection of the Cosmos: _Desperate Times, Desperate Measures_


	3. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

_Perry's secret is out, but for some reason none of us were that surprised. As we talked more about it, we found out that if his cover is blown he has to be moved to a new host family, so we're keeping things on the down low for now. I can't help but wonder how long that's going to last, though. _

* * *

Episode 3: _Desperate Times, Desperate Measures_

* * *

Major Monogram walked into Carl's little laboratory and crossed his arms. "What are you doing?"

"Working on the head thing," Carl replied, sounding exhausted. His head drooped, then bounced off the huge robot head. He sat up and rubbed it, then laughed sheepishly. "I haven't slept."

The older man sighed. "Never mind. What have you found out?"

"I managed to patch into its operating system and download its list of objectives," Carl said. He led Major Monogram to a computer readout. "I don't like the look of it, sir."

The major skimmed through the list briefly before his eyes went wide. "Great googly moogly!"

"Is that a good reaction or a bad reaction?"

"What do you think?" Major Monogram asked, narrowing his eyes.

"It's just that sometimes you say that and-"

"Bad reaction, Carl. Bad reaction." He sighed and shook his head. "What are we going to do?"

Carl leaned his head against the robot's head. "How about some more coffee while we decide?"

Major Monogram walked for the door. "Suck it up, Carl. We don't have time for coffee. We have work to do! Come on!"

"Do I have to?" the younger man moaned.

"Of course you do! Get up!"

* * *

After the events of yesterday, Phineas was a little tired. However, he had no plans on letting the day go to waste. It was a new day with new possibilities, and there was still the matter of building the Hanging Gardens. The truck with the plants had just made its delivery, and there were marble pillars lying everywhere.

"Okay, Ferb, there's work to do." He looked around and pointed to a coil of rope. "Wanna help me start hauling the pillars into place?" Ferb held up a finger. "What is it?"

The green-haired boy looked at his watch and moved his finger rhythmically as if he was counting. After a few seconds, he pointed to the gate. At that instant, Buford walked into the yard. Baljeet was hovering close by, and each of them waved. "What're youse guys doing today?" Buford asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just recreating the Hanging Gardens of Babylon." Phineas pointed towards the arches. "Wanna help us lift these/"

Buford shrugged. "Eh, sure. It'll work out my wedgie muscles." Phineas wheeled over a large frame while Ferb tied the rope around the arch. The green-haired boy tossed the rope over the frame, and Buford caught it. Using the frame as leverage, Buford gave a mighty heave and the entire arch rose upright.

"Wow!" Phineas shouted. "We'll be done in no time if you can lift all of them like that!"

"It's a gift," Buford said, blowing on his fingernails.

Ferb continued to prep the arches with rope while Buford hauled them into position. The group had accomplished a great deal by the time Isabella arrived. She opened the gate, smiled, and zeroed in on Phineas.

"Isabella! I was wondering when you'd show up," Phineas said with a smile. He walked over to the young girl and put his hand on her arm.

"You… you were?" she replied. Her cheeks went red, and she looked away from him.

"Yeah! I was hoping you could help me and Baljeet hang some of these plants!" Phineas led her by the arm towards a huge assortment of exotic flora. Baljeet was already standing there and was organizing the plants by color. "You have your horticulture patch, right?"

"Oh. Um, yeah." Her face lost its blush, and she sighed. "Well, might as well get to work on that, huh?" She knelt down and gathered up two small pots full of flowers.

Phineas pointed towards the row of arches. "We'll put the smaller plants on this first level. Once Buford and Ferb get all the arches raised, we'll start with the larger ones. The trees will go on the top level." He pointed to the arches, which were almost done, then to a stack of stone blocks that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. "Oh good, looks like the next shipment came in. Buford? You're up!"

* * *

Candace sat cross-legged at the sliding doors. "Hey mom, you know that multi-tiered garden thing we have in the backyard?"

Linda, who was in the middle of cooking lunch, raised an eyebrow. "No. No I don't."

"It must be new," Candace continued. "It's very impressive. One might say extraordinary, mother." Her voice started to tighten. "Surely something so impressive could not have been built by two young boys, both of whom happen to be your children. That would be, to put it simply, ridiculous."

Linda sighed. "Candace, what are you talking about?"

The teen jumped to her feet and pointed out the back window. "MOM! Phineas and Ferb are building a huge gardeny thingie with plants and columns and little waterfalls and stuff!"

"That sounds more like the Candace I know," Linda replied. "When I look out the window and nothing's there, can that be it for the day?"

"I make no promises."

"Candace, yesterday was long and stressful. Can't we skip the busting just this once and let things get back to normal?"

"But mom-"

"One peek is my limit for today," Linda interrupted. "After that, why don't you go call Jeremy? Wasn't he working at the mall yesterday? He might have some interesting stories."

"I… actually don't know. I wonder if he got in on any of the action. He'd be a great superhero, with his well toned muscles and all…" She sighed dreamily, then took one last look out into the back yard. "Looks like they'll be at it for awhile anyway. They just got another sixteen tons of stone blocks."

"Sounds good,." Linda flipped a grilled-cheese sandwich. "Let me know what Jeremy says."

"Oh, and mom?"

"Yes Candace?"

Candace's voice became very dark. "I'll be back."

"I count on it, dear." She started taking a few of the sandwiches out of the frying pan and set them aside. Just before she could put another in the pan, the doorbell rang. "Oh, now what is it?" Before she walked away, she turned off the stove.

The doorbell rang again, and Linda nearly tripped over Perry on the way through the living room. "Oh, sorry Perry. Not used to seeing you around in the middle of the day." One more ring of the doorbell, and Linda continued across the room.

When she answered it, she found two people she had never seen before. One of them was older, with white hair and a white mustache, and wearing a military uniform and a stern expression. The other was a young man with glasses and a lab coat. "Oh. Hello. What can I do for you?" Linda asked.

"Good morning, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," the older man began. "I'm Major Monogram, and this is my unpaid intern Carl. May we come in?"

Linda frowned. "Is it important? I don't really know who you are." She looked down when Perry nudged the side of her leg, then looked back at the man. "Besides, I'm a bit busy right now."

"It's about what happened downtown yesterday, and what you can do to prevent it from happening again."

"What I can do?" Linda laughed. "I can't do anything."

Carl raised a finger. "Well, not you exactly. But your children."

"This is getting a little silly." She peeked out the door. "Is this for that hidden camera show?"

"No ma'am. That show was cancelled many years ago." Major Monogram sighed wistfully. "And I never got a chance to use my vast resources to make someone else look like a total idiot…"

"Keep the dream alive, sir," Carl said.

"You're right, Carl. Besides, we don't have time for that now. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, we need to borrow your sons. They may be the only ones who can save the world."

Linda laughed out loud. "I've heard enough. Have a nice day, Major and Karl."

"It's not Karl, it's Carl," the teen corrected. "Karl is my last name."

"Isn't that what I… they're the same… what?" Linda shrugged. "Well, bye." She moved to close the door, but Perry stopped her by leaning on the open door. "What is it, Perry? You need to go out?"

Perry slowly rose to his feet and put a paw against the door. Linda took a step back in surprise. "When did you learn to do that?"

"Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, your platypus has been leading a double life," the major explained. "By night he's your average platypus. However, in the day he's a secret agent."

"A semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action, if you will," Carl added.

"Yes, yes, we've all heard the song."

Linda raised a finger. "I haven't."

Major Monogram cleared his throat. "Anyway, may we at least come in and plead our case?"

Linda looked at Perry, then back to the two men. "I'm not really all that comfortable with this." Perry took out a fedora and put it on his head. He tapped Linda on the leg and gestured for her to follow him. "I guess if Perry's okay with it, I can't object… Wow, that's a sentence I have a hard time saying with a straight face."

"Thank you, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." The major and Carl took a few steps into the house. "Mmm, I smell grilled cheese. I didn't know you were such a culinary master."

"Please, just call me Linda. And like I said, you caught me in the middle of something. Namely cooking."

Major Monogram and Carl sat on the couch, while Linda took a chair opposite the two. "We're sorry, Mrs., er, Linda," Carl began. "Major Monogram was on the phone with Washington all morning trying to decide whether we should even come to you and your family for help or not."

"Well since you're here, you might as well explain yourselves." She stared at Perry, who had closed the door for her and taken a seat next to Major Monogram. "Especially you, Perry. I think maybe we should start with that."

"Of course." Major Monogram pulled out a pamphlet and handed it across to Linda. "Your pet platypus is part of a top secret organization called the O.W.C.A.—the Organization Without a Cool Acronym."

Linda stared blankly. "Wow. You couldn't have done ANY better?"

"Anyway," the major continued, ignoring her, "the O.W.C.A. has a staff of highly trained secret agents employed to protect the world on a daily basis."

"And some of these agents are animals?" Linda asked.

"Some of them, yes."

"All of them, actually," Carl corrected.

"All of them, yes," Major Monogram amended. "Disguised as common house pets, our animal agents are able to infiltrate evil organizations all across the Tri-State Area. Agent P—that's Perry to you—is our top agent. He thwarts the evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz on a daily basis, keeping Jefferson County safe for you and your family."

Linda tapped her chin. "Doofenshmirtz… that sounds familiar…"

Carl pulled out a clipboard from inside of his lab coat. "Our records show that you had a brief, unsatisfying date with Dr. Doofenshmirtz back when you were in high school."

"Wow. Yes. That did happen." Linda narrowed her eyes. "But I meant more along the lines of that ridiculous building downtown with the huge 'Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" sign. But thank you for digging into my personal life. I appreciate it." Her voice became more staccato with each sentence.

"We're sorry, Linda-" Carl began.

"Call me Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," Linda snapped.

"-but we needed to do thorough background checks on your entire family to make sure that you would be a good match for Agent P." Carl pointed to the platypus. "And as you can see, it worked very well! Agent P loves you and your family, and you all love him."

"Okay, whatever." Linda rolled her eyes. "So Perry goes and fights Doofenshmirtz on a daily basis, which explains why we're always asking where he went. So where does this visit come in? Why are you blowing Perry's cover?"

Major Monogram leaned forward and rested the tips of his fingers together dramatically. "Under normal circumstances if an agent's cover is blown we have to relocate him to a new host family. And to be honest, Agent P's cover has already been blown since he heroically defeated that enemy robot on national TV."

"Didn't you see that, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher?" Carl interjected.

Linda glanced at Perry. "Actually Lawrence and I went to sleep pretty quickly after we came home. Phineas and Candace were eager to tell me something, but I figured it wasn't important. The boys have really active imaginations, and Candace... is complicated."

"That brings us to the point, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." Major Monogram sighed deeply. "The robot that attacked last night came from outer space."

Linda began laughing until she realized no one else was, then stopped and cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. You reminded me of my daughter for a minute. Please, continue."

"It was programmed to come down near Washington D. C. However, Dr. Doofenshmirtz built a machine designed to block cell phone signals across the Tri-State Area. This had the added effect of temporarily shutting down the robot's guidance system and causing it to crash directly into downtown Danville.

"After it reactivated, it began rampaging through the city. We only stopped it thanks to the combined efforts of Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz. After that, our crack team of analysts took the head back to the O.W.C.A. headquarters to decipher the machine's database."

Carl frowned. "Sir, what are you talking about? There is no team. You made me do it! And you didn't even bring me coffee!" He leaned in towards Linda and whispered, "He didn't even bring me coffee."

"Stop it, Carl. You're only making yourself look bad." He turned back to Linda and continued. "What we found in the robot's memory was quite disturbing indeed."

"May I, sir?"

"If we can avoid any more of your outburst."

"Of course, sir." Carl took out a small wand, aimed it at the wall, and pressed a button. The device projected an image of the robot onto the wall, and Carl used his other hand to wield a laser pointer. "This is an image of the robot. It's made of a composite metal that we're working on identifying. Needless to say, it's a pretty tough skin."

Linda interrupted. "I'm sorry, but is this going somewhere? I'm not really interested in a slide show."

Major Monogram cleared his throat. "Maybe we should skip to the invasion."

"Invasion?" Linda echoed.

Carl laughed nervously." Well, you know how in some movies you have the space aliens and they want to take over the Earth?"

"Yes…?"

"Well it's like that." Carl fumbled with the projector wand, and a diagram of the solar system appeared. There were several red dots near the graphic of Saturn. "You see, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, we've been broadcasting radio signals into space for almost a century now, and from what I was able to decipher from the robot's database, we've attracted a bit of attention."

"Those dots by Saturn are a fleet of space ships," Major Monogram explained. "From what our crack team- er, from what _Carl_ has learned, they mean to attack Earth in the near future. The robot was sort of an advanced scout, if you will."

Linda shook her head. "I just… I have such a hard time believing any of this. If Perry hadn't hopped up and put on a little hat I'd think you were both nuts. Actually, I still think you're both nuts."

"Hey mom!" Candace shouted, bouncing down the steps. "Have you seen what Phineas and Ferb did to your tulips?" She stopped when she reached the bottom. It took her a second to notice that they had company. "Oh great! My little brothers have gotten us in trouble with the military!"

"Speaking of nuts, this is my daughter Candace. She has a very active imagination."

Major Monogram raised an eyebrow. "Young lady, what are your brothers doing today?"

Candace looked out the back window nervously. "Uh, right…" She muttered to herself, "Okay, military guy in house, brothers probably going to prison, what to say?" Then she cleared her throat and squeaked, "Gardening." Her eyes wandered anxiously from face to face until she realized Perry was standing there wearing his hat. "Oh, Perry! You, um… You're in uniform."

Linda raised an eyebrow. "You knew about this?"

"We just found out last night. We saw him on TV- HEY!" She pointed at Major Monogram and put a hand over her mouth. "You're that guy! The mustache guy!" Next she pointed at Carl. "And you're the nerd with the water gun!"

Major Monogram scratched the back of his head nervously. "Uh, yes. Yes we are."

"What are you doing here?"

Linda chuckled. "They're trying to stop an alien invasion."

"Miss Flynn," Major Monogram began, looking directly at Candace, "we need your brothers' help."

"Oh, this should be good," Linda muttered.

"With what?" Candace asked.

"They're the only ones who can build a battleship in a day. We need one capable of fending off an impending alien robot menace."

Linda started laughing again, this time putting a hand on her stomach. "I'll make sure my kids get right on that!"

"She doesn't know," Candace whispered loudly.

"Clearly," the major replied.

"Okay, I'll bite. Know what?" Linda asked, still laughing.

"Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, your children are geniuses," Major Monogram began. "They break the laws of physics on a daily basis."

"Ahhhhhh, I see." Linda turned to Candace. "You're setting me up." She smirked. "I have to admit, you had me going there for awhile. I'm not sure how you trained Perry to walk on his hind legs, but bravo young lady. The hat was a nice touch."

Carl wringed his hands together nervously. "Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, maybe you should take a look out into the back yard."

"Yes, I agree. Let's all go into the back yard," Major Monogram added. "Maybe we could see your new garden." He stood and started walking for the kitchen. Linda and Carl followed suit a few seconds later.

Candace crossed her arms and smirked. "It won't work, guys. Every time someone tries to bust them, whatever they built just vanishes. Poof."

Major Monogram looked back over his shoulder. "We're not trying to bust them. We're trying to save the world."

"I… hmm." Candace uncrossed her arms and chased after them. She slammed into the back of her mother, who had stopped short at the sliding door.

"Oh my…" Linda uttered. She slowly put a hand to her mouth and very nearly toppled over. Candace was able to push her back upright but had to keep a hand on her shoulder to keep her from tipping again.

From their vantage point, the backyard was full of archways and plants. The structure was at least fifty feet high, probably even higher, and was made entirely out of stone. There were plants of all shapes and sizes inside, making the entire building green and alive.

The major nodded in approval. "Ancient Babylon. I like it."

Carl raised an eyebrow. "You know there's never been any archaeological evidence to suggest the Hanging Gardens of Babylon even existed, right?"

"I know that, Carl!" He turned to Linda. "Pretty impressive, don't you think?" She didn't hear him. "Oh, right. You weren't in the loop. Sorry."

"So what's your deal, anyway?" Candace asked. "Are you trying to recruit my brothers into the military? Because I'm not cool with that. They're not arms dealers."

Major Monogram crossed his arms behind his back. "Believe me, Miss Flynn, if I never had to meet your family in person I'd be a happy man. As it stands, I'm still on the fence regarding this whole 'Perry's cover is blown' thing," using air quotes where appropriate. "I'm supposed to relocate him to a new host family, but at the moment I think Agent P is much more valuable here as a consultant. Assuming, of course, your brothers agree to help."

"A consultant who can't speak human. Great job!" Candace muttered, though she made no attempt to conceal what she said from anyone else.

Linda turned to Candace. She said a few incomplete syllables before finally managing, "How?"

Candace tapped her head with her finger thoughtfully. "The arches would support the weight of the upper levels pretty evenly. At least, that's the sort of nonsense Phineas and Ferb are always spouting."

"That's not what I meant," Linda replied severely. "I mean how can they be doing this?"

The teenager shrugged. "Beats me."

"Beats me too," Major Monogram added.

Linda turned to Carl, who held up his hands. "I'm just the unpaid intern."

"I don't… should I stop them?" Linda asked. "I mean, COULD I stop them?" She whirled around to Major Monogram again. "Are my children aliens too? And Perry? He must be some kind of space platypus, right?"

"Your children are perfectly normal, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher."

"Oh, yeah, definitely," she replied. "That makes sense. I suppose Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella all build ancient wonders of the world in their backyards, too."

"Actually they all just use our yard," Candace clarified.

"What? No, don't answer that. I don't even know why I asked it." She moved to the sink and pulled a glass out of the cupboard. "I don't know what to do or say. I feel like I should yell at them, but how can I? I'm a bit out of my depth here."

Carl took a step forward. "For what it's worth, ma'am, your kids are brilliant engineers. They have a bright future ahead of them. Assuming the human race isn't annihilated first, of course."

"You're not helping," Major Monogram hissed.

"Sorry, sir."

Linda sipped at her water, then turned to look in the backyard again. The kids were all in sight this time. Phineas and Ferb were standing to the side as Buford hauled the final stone pillar into place. Isabella had busied herself shifting some of the larger trees into position with a dolly, and Baljeet was watering the plants on the first level. "And they did this in a day?" She looked at the clock on the stove. "Not even a day. It's 3:00."

The kids were now standing to the side and admiring their handiwork. Phineas turned slightly and caught sight of his mother standing in the window. He smiled and waved enthusiastically. "What should I do?" Linda asked.

"Maybe you should go out and let your sons show you around," the major replied.

"I guess you're right." She took a deep breath, then slid the door open. As she slid it closed, Candace let out a scream of victory and started dancing around the kitchen with a surprised and terrified Major Monogram.

"Hi boys," Linda said hesitantly. "What… what'cha got there?"

"We recreated the Hanging Gardens of Babylon!" Phineas said enthusiastically. "It took awhile to get a good idea what they might have looked like, and some of our sources disagreed on a couple of the key points, but we figured that we could take some creative license here and there."

Ferb raised a finger. "Some archaeologists speculate that the Hanging Gardens never existed in the first place."

"So I hear," Linda replied. "Um, boys? How come you never mentioned that all the things you say you built were… real?"

Phineas tilted his head. "What do you mean? We tell you what we do every day. We're always just sad that the stuff we build vanishes before you can see it."

"Ah. I see." She looked behind them, at the massive stone structure. "I have a confession to make. When you told me that you built all those wonderful, crazy things you say you built, I thought you were just pretending."

"Oh, that's okay mom," Phineas replied with a smile. "I'm just glad you believe us now."

Linda smiled. "I don't know whether to shower you with praise or wring your necks, so I think I'll settle for a hug." She knelt down, and her sons wrapped their arms around her. "I'm not entirely sure I'm happy about this, but you're not in trouble—at least not yet. I do want to talk over a few things, though."

"Sure, mom."

The glass door slid open again, and a much bedraggled Major Monogram stepped out. "There is indeed much to discuss."

"Hey, you're that guy from TV," Phineas noted. "Are you Perry's boss?"

"Indeed. Let's go inside. Carl made us lemonade after Agent P restrained your sister."

"Oh, right." Linda rubbed her forehead. "These two men wanted to ask you something. Maybe we'd better discuss it as a family."

* * *

Next Time:

With the children brought up to speed on the situation, they must decide whether or not they can handle the task at hand—saving the world from an invading horde of machines.

The next episode of Protection of the Cosmos: _Sort of like an Important Choice_


	4. Sort of like an Important Choice

_I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what the boys are gonna say to Major Monogram. On a normal day, they'd probably be all polite and tell him thanks but no thanks. But like I said before, things have gotten out of hand, and maybe there's more to this than even Monogram and that Carl guy know._

* * *

Episode 4: _Sort of like an Important Choice_

* * *

Phineas and Ferb sat on the couch along with Buford, while Isabella took up position on the floor in front of Phineas, and Baljeet sat cross-legged on the other end. Perry was sitting in between the brothers, still wearing his fedora. They had just finished listening to Major Monogram's summary of the situation, and he waited for them to process their thoughts.

"Sounds like a standard issue alien invasion to me," Buford mused. "I say we punch them until they go away."

"Not all of life's problems can be solved by punching, Buford" Baljeet replied.

"Yeah? Then you're not punching hard enough." He flexed his right arm. "Sometimes you gotta use some of your shoulder, too."

Major Monogram cleared his throat. "Well, in a certain broad sense, that's sort of what we're thinking of doing."

"Good man, Monogram," Buford said with a grin.

Phineas raised a hand. "Just what exactly ARE you thinking of doing? I mean, one robot was hard enough to stop."

"And are these guys all robots?" Isabella added. "Because if that whole fleet is more of these robot guys, I think we might be in trouble."

"From what we understand," the major began, "and I'll admit, we don't understand much, their entire civilization is mechanical."

"So the whole fleet is made up of machines, but probably not the same sort that crashed downtown?"

Carl nodded. "Exactly, young lady. From what we gathered, the FFR signal number on the robot that crashed into Doofenshmirtz's building was 117,943, so I don't think there's a shortage of that particular model out there."

Linda interrupted. "FFR?"

"Friend or Foe Recognition. Militaries use them to determine if what they're shooting at is on the same side as them or not."

"Sounds convenient."

"Oh, it is!" Carl replied enthusiastically. "We installed them in all of our vehicles after we accidentally blasted… erm, sorry sir. I know I promised never to speak of that again."

"Just get on with it, Carl."

"Yes sir." Carl cleared his throat. "Anyway, some of the details are still fuzzy, but what we do know is that the fleet out there has orders to conquer the Earth and enslave the population."

Major Monogram continued. "We're not really sure exactly why they want to do that yet, but needless to say it would be very bad news for us."

"Yeah, I could see that being a bit of a downer," Buford said.

The major nodded. "So what we need from you two young men is a spaceship."

Phineas smiled. "Well, normally we don't take requests, but if the fate of the world is at stake I think we can make an exception. Besides, we're pretty good at spaceships. What do you need?"

"We need something that's strong enough to resist the weaponry the robot was carrying and probably even stronger attacks that we don't even know about yet."

"No problem! Ferb and I are good at expecting the unexpected. Just give us what you know about the aliens and we'll get you what you need."

Linda frowned. "Not so fast, young man."

"What is it, mom?"

"I just found out today that you and your brother are miracle workers, and now you want to go off and help the army fight aliens! It's one thing to build restaurants, roller coasters, and ancient world wonders in my backyard—which apparently you've been doing all this time—but it's quite another to become hired mercenaries!"

Major Monogram leaned forward. "We're not the army. We're the O.W.C.A., the-"

"I know, I know. Organization With a Crummy Alias." She turned back to her son. "I can't agree to this!"

"But mom-"

"No buts. You're children, not soldiers."

"What about Perry?" Phineas asked. "He works for Major Monogram and has never had to do anything he didn't like."

"Perry's a grown-up… platypus… a grown-up platypus. He can make his own decisions. And I'm sure he's had to deal with the consequences of his actions."

Phineas hung his head. "I guess so."

"Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher,' Major Monogram said, "think of the rest of the human race. We could all be in grave danger!"

"Well I don't see why whatever solution you come up with has to involve my children." She crossed her arms.

"Believe me, we wouldn't have come here if we could go anywhere else."

"Surely you have scientists that could do what my kids can do."

Major Monogram looked down. "Given enough time, maybe. Certainly in a few years. But we need that ship immediately."

"Even with my sons helping, wouldn't building a battleship like that take months even with plans already drawn up? The technology for something like that is hundreds of years off."

The major smiled. "How many hours did it take for them to build a marble garden in your backyard that dwarfs your house?"

"Okay, fair point. Time is obviously not a factor here. What about the technology?"

Candace waved a hand. "They're way ahead of you on that. You should have seen the cell phone they made me. Actually, I tried to get you to see it, but we all know how well THAT always goes."

Linda crossed her arms. "Regardless of how true all of this is, I'm not okay with it." She looked at Isabella, then to Buford and Baljeet. "And I know I speak for everyone's parents. You three can't go either."

"Eh, I wasn't gonna do anything even if I DID go," Buford said with a shrug.

Major Monogram rubbed his chin. "Hmm. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but we have no choice." He stood up and began pacing. "Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, let's make a deal."

"Okay. How about you leave now and I don't start hitting you with my rolling pin?"

"Heh heh, very humorous, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher."

Linda stood up and moved towards the kitchen. "I wasn't kidding. My mother-in-law gave me a good strong wooden one when I married Lawrence."

Major Monogram waved his hands defensively. "Okay, sorry. Anyway, here's what I propose. Agent P's cover has been blown, and by all rights this is a serious breach of O.W.C.A. security. According to protocol, I would have to take Perry away from you and transplant him to a new host family. Either that or erase everyone's memory again."

Everyone chorused, "Again?" The major cleared his throat and continued.

"However, if I could borrow your sons for a day, just long enough for them to build a ship complete with drive system and shielding, they'll be home none the worse for wear. I don't even need them to arm the ship."

"Oh?" Linda leaned forward menacingly. "Now that's an interesting change of tone. Where are you going to get your weapons?"

Major Monogram glanced at Perry, then back to Linda. "Agent P's nemesis is a completely incompetent mad genius. It's sort of a delicate balance."

"I'm sure."

"But those times where his mad genius outweighs his complete incompetence, he's very good at what he does. Luckily we have Agent P to stop him when he gets things right."

Phineas raised a hand. "Major Monogram, where are you going with this?"

Carl looked nervously at his boss, then at Phineas. "Our backup plan is to have Dr. Doofenshmirtz build weapons for the ship. He's actually the one who made that Rust-inator that destroyed the first robot."

Major Monogram chuckled. "Luckily he only made that so he could make his robot manservant terrified of him. Can you imagine if he actually used that for evil?"

"He sounds like a jerk," Isabella muttered.

"Indeed." Major Monogram turned back towards Linda. "So what do you say? We turn a blind eye to Agent P's cover being blown and you allow us to utilize your children and their vast intellect."

Linda put a hand to her chin. A few seconds later she said, "Nope." Major Monogram slapped his forehead, and Carl let his head drop.

"I guess that's it then, Carl." Major Monogram started walking toward the door. "Do you think we could trust Doofenshmirtz to build a spaceship too?"

"One that won't blow up as soon as it reached orbit? No."

Phineas jumped off the couch and shouted, "Wait!"

Major Monogram turned around. "What is it, young man?"

"You two have been arguing back and forth all afternoon, but neither one of you has really listened to what WE think." He gestured towards his brother and friends. "If the world is in danger, don't you think we should do everything in our power to save it?"

Linda sighed. "Of course I do. But aren't you all a little young to be saving the world?"

This time Ferb spoke up. "Yes. Yes we are. But we CAN do it."

"We believe so too," Major Monogram replied. "That's why we came straight here."

Perry chattered, drawing everyone's gaze toward him. He then nodded his agreement.

"See, mom? Even Perry knows we can do it!"

"This isn't open for debate. It's too dangerous."

Candace stood up. "Okay, I didn't want to say anything here, but I think the twerps are right."

Linda put her hand against her head. "Oh, not you too."

"Yes, me too." Candace crossed her arms. "You never listened to me about all this building stuff, but maybe you'll listen to me about this."

"Fine. Go ahead."

"All summer long I've been trying to bust my brothers because everything they were doing was dangerous and insane. But even though I wanted to bust them more than anything, even I have to recognize that what they've been doing…" she paused and took a deep breath, "…has been AWESOME! You should've seen it, mom! My head was on Mt. Rushmore, and then there was the time I was fifty feet all, and the giant backyard fort, and the ninja suits!"

Linda raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you had lots of fun."

"Well no. I almost never let myself be seduced by the coolness." She blew on her fingernails. "It's a gift, I know."

"Okay…"

"The point is, these two are miracle workers, and if Mr. Mustache-"

"That's Major Monogram."

"- thinks that they can save the world then I do too. I mean, it's not like it'd be the first time."

"Candace, this is completely different."

"Is it?" She crossed her arms and turned around. "If you're so worried, why don't you let them build the ship in the backyard? It's where they do most of their best work anyway."

Major Monogram glanced at Carl, then back to the group. "It would be a bit inconvenient, but I'm sure we could work around that if it met with your approval, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher."

"I… I don't…"

Candace slid up next to her mother and put an arm around her. "Come on, mom. And if anything goes wrong, I'll be right there. To bust them!" she started laughing maniacally, and Linda took a step away from her.

"Alright, fine." Linda threw her arms up. "But I'm going to be there to bust YOU TWO if anything goes wrong." She pointed to Major Monogram and Carl. "Plus, nothing underhanded. You get the ship and leave."

"Can do, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," Carl stated.

Phineas smiled and clasped his hands together. "Well, it looks like we have work to do!" He looked up at Major Monogram. "And we certainly can't do it without our team."

Major Monogram looked to the side. "Erm, well, their parents-"

"Don't even have to know," Candace interrupted. "It'll just be an average day in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard."

"Very good then," the major said, saluting. "We'll be back tomorrow with Doofenshmirtz in tow. Then the real work begins. Come on, Carl. It's time for my bubble bath." The duo showed themselves out, leaving the kids excited and Linda with her head in her hands.

"I bet Mrs. Johnson doesn't have to put up with this sort of thing," she muttered.

Phineas, on the other hand, was in high spirits. "Maybe we should start planning tonight! We're gonna have a lot on our plates tomorrow, and the quicker we get this ship put together, the quicker we can save the world!" The group cheered, and they started to move towards the sliding door.

"Oh no you don't," Linda called after them. They stopped and turned towards her. "If you're going to do this, you're going to do it right. Dinner first. Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford, you call your parents while I whip up some more of these sandwiches. Food gets the juices flowing, after all."

"Yes, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher," the trio replied. Isabella led the way to the phone, while Phineas, Ferb, and Candace started to set the table.

"You guys know I'm the greatest mother ever, right?"

"I don't think there was ever a question of that," Phineas replied. "I'm just sorry you didn't know about our projects sooner. I bet you would've loved them!"

"You might be right about that, boys," Linda replied. "But don't forget, even as I warm to this little idea, your father still has no clue."

"Oh, I think dad knows. He went with us on our magic carpet ride."

"Now I understand what they mean when they say 'The last one to the party gets stuck with the check.'" She sighed. "Oh well. How many parents get to say their children saved the world?"

* * *

Next Time:

The fateful meeting between Dr. Doofenshmirtz and the Flynn-Fletcher family goes off without a hitch. Construction must be accelerated, however, as the mysterious fleet hails the planet and delivers a declaration to the human race.

The next episode of Protection of the Cosmos: _The Committee for the Protection of the Cosmos_


End file.
